The Masks We Wear

Your masks are how you mentally and emotionally portray yourself to be in order to fit in, be accepted, or avoid emotions. I’d be sure that most of us have experienced, or are still experiencing wearing masks in our work, with family, friends, and relationships. You put it on to cover who you really are, in order to play a part that is perceived or expected of you. They are like a smokescreen protecting you from really being seen.

I recently watched a documentary called ‘The Mask you Live In’. The theme is about how boys are raised to fit into our confined version of what masculinity looks like, as they struggle to stay true to themselves. The masks that they had to wear to be acceptable in the domain of being a male. It is a message that cannot be ignored because this conditioning starts early in our life.

It is not strictly a male ‘thing’. I was talking to a friend about the documentary, her response was that it is very relevant for women. The versions of femininity that we create for women can be just as confined.

You created your masks as a means of how you saw yourself being able to get by and survive. Whatever your experience of life, you wear a mask to serve the purpose of surviving in some form. You create your mask, and if it achieves its purpose, you keep it and wear it when a similar situation needs it. What can happen is that it outwears its usefulness. It doesn’t work like it did; you feel unfilled, frustrated or that you are cheating yourself somehow. Deep inside there is a part of you that wants to be seen and heard.

What are you pretending or trying to be, all the while neglecting or denying those parts of you that the world will benefit in seeing?

Have you ever felt that something inside you needs to be expressed?

Do the roles you feel you are expected to play make you resentful and exhaust you?

Do you fear being yourself?

What I have worked out, is that I can’t do what I really believe is what I’m here to do, by pretending to be someone else. I can only do it being me. A big part about being me is to understand what I value and how I communicate with those around me based on those values.

The depth of this topic cannot possibly be covered in a brief article like this one; because it touches on identity, fear, shame, and meaning – to name only a few big topics that come to mind. My intention with writing it is for you to start with the question and look inwards. Open a box inside you, just a crack if you can and shine a light inside to see what you learn. If the light shines on a mask that you want to take off, don’t try and do it alone; talk to someone, or seek professional help that will support you in working with being able to express the deeper you.

Author Neil Gaiman said, “Leave the world more interesting for your being here.” You are unique and the world is waiting for you to show it.

Should you want to discuss anything that comes up for you as a result of this article, please connect with me via my email david@davidsmith.io or call 0410501427 and we can organise a time to talk some more about what came up for you.  

Photo courtesy of Jakob Puff on Unsplash